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Me, Myself, and I – From Euphoria to Misery & Everything In Between Sample

Dedication

In dedication to the world’s greatest poet. 

Beside yours, my words are so austere

You’ve humored and encouraged me anyway

That’s just the person that you are

May the luminescence of your soul

Shine through what I’ve written here

And know, my dear friend, 

No matter the time, nor the distance

I’ll carry you in my heart forever

May you find happiness in this world

Me, Myself, and I

Allow me to introduce you 

To Me, Myself, and I

No, there aren’t really three of me

Just the product of my mind

Me, he’s the fun one

Wish I was him all the time

Full of burning passion

Chaotic energy with a lot of sass

Myself is who I really am

The one you typically see

Desiring to spread cheer to all

Biggest heart of the three

I naturally comes last

Where he feels he always is

Darkness in every corner

He can never, ever win

Now that I’ve introduced you all

Let’s go out on a little journey

Don’t worry, it isn’t far

In fact, we’re already there

Keeping these three in check

Is a major balancing act

All chomping at the bit 

To get their time in the spotlight

Me is here for a few days

Myself a little bit more

I seems to last the longest

Time dilation at its finest 

By now I hope it’s clear

And you don’t think I’m insane

They each contribute to who I am

The person on every page

Rubber Band

Pull it up

High as can be

Let it snap back down

See how fast it goes

From a peak 

To a trough 

In an instant?

Just as fast

It returns to the center

Like nothing ever

Happened

Begin the cycle again

Pull it up

High as can be

Let it snap back down

Except, wait…

It stops in the center 

This time

Pull it down

Low as can go

Let it snap back up

Goes higher than ever

Lingers for a while

Then returns to

The center

Again

Pull both ends

High and low

Let it go 

What’s going to happen?

Dances in place for a time

While falling to the floor 

Mania

The possibility

Of impossibility

Is the fragility 

Of my reality

Spice of Life

Can we stop to appreciate

The magic of the swear?

Adds some spice to any sentence

Replaces the droll with some flair

That day wasn’t just bad

It was absolutely ass

No dear, you’re not just beautiful

You’re bitch with a lot of class

Damned if we do, damned if we don’t

Say, “To Hell with it all!”

That shit was a disaster

I am fucking appalled 

Let’s not forget the unsung heroes

The ones who don’t get to shine

The pricks of the world

And the dicks who try to rhyme

Then there are the swear-adjacent

Probably where we all start

Learning the power of frick

Or the horrors of a shart

Oh, but when they’re combined

The beautiful music that they make

You shit-ass mother fucker,

I hope you get impaled on a stake!

What about those words

That have more than a single meaning?

After all, a cock is a rooster

And a pussy’s just a kitty

Ah, I know what you’re waiting for

One of the biggest of them all

But if we’re gonna go there

Know it’s actually quite small

Some swear it’s just a myth

Others are still on the hunt

Whether you’ve found it or not

You’re a smug fucking cunt

Happiness Sold Separately

Hammer in hand, pounding away

Shaping and crafting my creation

No, no, this one won’t do

Yet another come out misshapen 

Grab the saw, trim it here

Sand down that rough spot there

Throw this one out as well

It could hardly be considered fair

Chisel that spot, grind this bit down

Wipe the dust off, let’s have a look

Yet again, this one’s no good

Nope, see that part where it’s crooked?

This isn’t my first time making it

What am I doing wrong?

Years and years I’ve done this

Seeking that for which I long

Then it hits me out of nowhere

Clouds part and finally I can see

I can manufacture happiness for others

But maybe it was never meant for me

Spiral

A sinking sensation in the chest

Heaviness settling in

Pressing downward, ever downward

Covering a font of positivity

Smiling outwardly to keep anyone

From guessing that 

It’s happening again

Can you see it?

Is it obvious?

Mind beginning to race

Overanalyzing every single

Utterance that’s made

It’s best to disappear now

Withdraw into the lair

Letting anyone see this

Is far too much to bear

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My name is T. E. Woodard

And I welcome you to my small plot of the internet. I’m a horror author with a penchant for scarring the minds of characters and allowing discomfort to linger for both them and my audience. There are fates far worse than death, after all.

All of my e-format works are available for free, typically through PDF downloads or the occasional post on other websites. Enjoyment of literature shouldn’t be gated by economic factors, so read and share to your heart’s content. I do also have paperback/hardback versions available of some things for about as low-cost as I can reasonably make them if that’s your sort of thing.

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